


The First Time Sirius Cries

by simplysirius



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Feels, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Heavy Angst, M/M, One Shot, Pining, Relationship(s), Remus x Sirius, sirius x remus, wolfstar, wolfstar angst, wolfstar fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:28:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28988529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplysirius/pseuds/simplysirius
Summary: Remus tries his best to comfort Sirius the first time he sees him cry, and whips out his special secret weapon guaranteed to stop the tears.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 90





	The First Time Sirius Cries

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Tumblr @simplysirius for daily fics and fan art! I also take requests :)

The first time Remus saw Sirius cry was on the Hogwarts Express, barreling towards London to deliver them to King’s Cross at the end of their first year. 

The train car was buzzing with excited students ready to enjoy their summer holiday, wide grins plastered on their faces as they ran up and down the aisle, swishing their wands. Even James couldn’t sit still, bouncing around their compartment so much he nearly broke his glasses, shoving Sirius’ shoulder to get him to join.

Sirius stared out the windows, his knees pulled into his chest, arms crossed and fingers digging into his biceps. He wasn’t even trying to fight Remus for more space on the bench, and he didn’t buy anything when the sweets car rumbled past. When James grew bored of Sirius’ deflated attitude, he left the compartment in search of Lily.

“What’s going on?” Remus asked quietly. When Sirius didn’t move – not even a single blink – Remus nudged his foot, breaking the boy from his thoughts. “Sirius?”

He shook his head at first, not interested in talking, but then Remus caught his reflection in the window, Sirius’ teeth sharply taking his bottom lip. “I don’t want to go home.”

Remus didn’t need to ask why. All the nightmares, the midnight talks buried under covers, the silent hugs and wavering smiles. There were no words that would make this holiday any better for Sirius, but he had to try. “It’s only two months.”

“I guess so.” Sirius managed a meager shrug, his eyes not leaving the window. They were in the midst of the countryside, a far cry from the fjords of Hogwarts and the bustling streets of London. There was less for Sirius to focus on now, and more for him to think about. “I should have just hidden in the forest or something.”

“I’ll write to you every day,” Remus promised quickly, willing the life to return to Sirius’ eyes. “Maybe even twice a day. My house is pretty boring.”

“She might not let me read them.”

It was a sad, terrible truth. There was no guarantee that Sirius would receive any of his letters, that Sirius would be allowed to use the family owl to send his own.

Remus’ shoulders pulled back and his chest puffed with absolute determination. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll send a letter every hour if I have to. I’ll rent a whole pack of owls. You’ll get them.”

Sirius peered over at Remus, finally breaking his staring contest with the window. “You’d do that? For me?”

“Of course,” Remus said, furrowing his eyebrows at such a ridiculous question. “Why wouldn’t I?”

Losing the courage to hold Remus’ gaze, Sirius’ eyes dropped to his lap, fiddling with his fingers. The skin around his nails was already scabby and raw from picking so much, but Sirius hardly even flinched. “Nobody cares about me.”

“I care about you.” The way Remus said it, with bold authority, left no room for questions. His vibrato reverberated around Sirius’ head, erasing the tattoos etched into his skull insisting the exact opposite.

With one gasping breath, Sirius’ façade shattered and his face was wet.

“Do you want a hug?” Sirius couldn’t answer, too busy rubbing his knuckles in his eyes in a futile attempt to stop the tears. Remus inched closer, ghosting his hands along Sirius’ arms. “I’m going to hug, you okay?”

Sirius nodded as Remus pulled him into his chest, nestling his face into Remus’ soft sweater. Carding a gentle hand through his hair, Remus held onto Sirius, not saying a word when two arms wrapped around his back and nearly squeezed the air out of his lungs.

Maybe if Sirius held on tight enough, Remus could glue the pieces back together. If he held on tight enough, even in a couple weeks, he could still smell the sugary chocolate and sweet tea he had learned to love in the aftermath of a nightmare.

Sirius was a quiet crier. He didn’t wail, didn’t scream, didn’t try to blubber through the tears. He let the water fall and kept his lips parted just enough to breathe, and suddenly, with an anchor sinking in his stomach, Remus realized that it takes practice to learn how to cry silently.

“I’m sorry,” Sirius sniffed, trying to blot away the water marks on Remus’ sweater, soaked through to the skin.

Remus stilled his hands, clasping their palms together fiercely. “It’s okay. It’s just water.” He reached deep into his pockets and handed Sirius a small object.

It was a little misshapen, and maybe a bit melted, but it did what it was supposed to do; it made Sirius smile.

“Do you always keep chocolate in your pocket?”

“It’s my emergency stash,” Remus nodded, wiping away a stray tear on his cheek. “That one has caramel on the inside.”

Sirius’ eyes sparked. “Those are my favorite.”

“I know.” They shared a small grin as Sirius unwrapped his sweet. “I’ll find a way to talk to you over the summer, okay? Trust me.”

“I trust you.”


End file.
